tick tock

second, minute, hour,
tick, tock, goes the clock.
hour, day, week,
tick, tock, goes the clock.
week, month, year,
tick, tock, goes the clock.
tick,
tick,
tick,
forward.
tick,
tick,
tick,
forward.
always moving onward.
winter, spring, summer, autumn,
tick, tock, goes the clock.
winter, spring, summer, autumn,
tick, tock, goes the clock.
always moving onward.
life spans begin, life spans end,
tides ebb, tides flow,
steady intervals, steady tempos,
tick, tock, goes the clock.
tick,
tick,
tick,
...silence.

~written by me

tears (a poem)

tears of pain
tears of sorrow
grieving and distress
whimpering
weeping
wailing
a breakdown
a moment
a memory long gone
an emptiness
an ache
a longing
tears of pain
tears of sorrow
ruby red flows out
floods
gushes
from some tears
while other tears
simply fall
stream down the cheeks

~written by me

Tracking can help…

When depression strikes, all motivation and energy to do the things that I need to get done just evaporate. It seems, with them, all words and the ability to explain myself and how I am feeling go up in smoke as well. I have been wanting to post on here for over a month, and just have not been able to get the words to come into my brain and through my hands into the keyboard.

The difficulty with words and explaining my mood and how I am doing in general extends into therapy and psychiatry appointments as well. I have had such a hard time explaining where my head has been to my therapist and psychiatrist, in general and even specifically. For this reason, I actually use two different apps, on my phone, to monitor my mood, activities, behaviors, etc. everyday, to help me keep track of how I am in a way that doesn’t really require words, necessarily.

Daylio, one of the apps that I use, can be highly personalized. The titles for the moods in the first picture are actually words I chose. You can also change the emojis used for the moods. In the second picture, the different items that are there to mark whether they happened that day (tapping the picture selects the item, signifying that it did happen) were added by me, or picked by me from the app’s preloaded selections. This app also keeps track of the data and calculates detailed statistics, noting which items are most often together, which items happen with which moods the most, and you can go through and look up nearly any combination you need or want. Even which activities happen together the most. For example, with my activities, I could see if I am often anxious when I have class, or angry when I deal with family, but also see if video games/reading/writing often go along with better moods…

And I plan to go into the second app in my next post.

BTW, this was not sponsored in anyway. I find this app extremely helpful and wanted to share, hoping that someone else may be able to get something from it as well.

Thank you so much for coming by my little corner of the internet and I hope you swing by again!